SantaCon Portland,The Unexpected Santas Of 2011


December 19, 2011 by David Gillaspie

by David Gillaspie

With the changing seasons you see a little more color on the ground if you find the right tree.

Maple leaves drop a red carpet on the trails.

Christmas lights sparkle on Broadway. So do traffic lights.

Downtown lights won’t let you forget what time it is.

It’s Happy Hour?

Be careful not to over indulge.

Do you need more lights?

In case you do, a trip to the Grotto Tree is the cure.

It’s where you’ll hear beautiful voices.

Go inside to re-charge your Christmas spirit.

You’ll need all the energy you’ve got for SantaCon.

Professor Billy Bob teaches Bad Santa 101.

There’s also an outdoor element to SantaCon.

It’s a group effort and you need to be prepared.

Goodwill and peace flows from the crowd.

Once the march begins, you have to keep up.

The Crimson Crowd finds a warm welcome all over town.

But that’s not all they find.

The unexpected happens when Santa puts on the suit with plans of being where all other Santas gather. Oddly enough, even the worst Santa finds a fan.

In a group of six Santas, five were pegged as real Santas by kids. For some reason each of the five Santas made a kid think they were the real one.

There’s not a pub crawl in the world with more responsibility than a SantaCon. No one wants to be the one Santa who ruins Christmas for a kid, and none of the five in my group did it.

From groups of little boys and girls in a restaurant with their parents, to kids in cars, Santas have to remember who they represent. It’s not all party and fun. There’s work to do, and it has to be done right.

Once it got dark I thought I had a clean get-away. I didn’t have to be Santa for anyone, then it happened.

Inside Kelly’s Olympian a muscled up shaved head guy walked by and clamped my shoulder and said, “I’ve been looking for you all day.”

It had to be a case of mistaken identity. No one was looking for me. I was with my group. This had a bad feel to it in a bar that made some in the group nervous.

Then I remembered the drill.

“Have you been a good boy this year?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Good. Then what is your wish?”

“I want everyone to be happy.”

“Happy? That’s a tough one, but you can make it happen. You gift is to make those around you happy, and you will be happy doing it.”

“Thank you, Santa.”

“Merry Christmas.” 


2 thoughts on “SantaCon Portland,The Unexpected Santas Of 2011

  1. markmmullins says:

    Very cleaver. Great ending.

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