Starbucks Confession, pt 2

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August 25, 2011 by David Gillaspie


Yes, I like Starbucks, is that a sin? Venti with room for cream, please.

Starbucks teaches us we don’t have to play Russian Roulette with coffee.

Instead of hit and miss, each cup is the same as the last, at least in theory.

Starbucks educates us on coffee pricing: A good cup is going to cost more.

And we buy more, thankful it’s not something we’ll regret drinking.

Now, Starbucks wants to teach us how to run the country.

CEO Howard Schultz asked his CEO pals to hold back on their political contributions until the politicians of their choice decide to work for brand America.

That’s what screwing around with the national debt ceiling gets you, Congressman.

Right or wrong, Coffee Baron Schultz takes a step the Tea Party tripped on. He’s not talking about money into the system, he’s talking money into elections. No money equals no office.

This is a guy who knows what he wants, and what it takes to get it.

This is a man who saw coffee as his own Golden Fleece and wrapped himself in it. Speaking for coffee fiends worldwide, thank you Howard.

This is a man who knows how to make a deal. He expects other deal makers to follow suit. If they can’t, or refuse to deal, ship ’em out.

Cut ’em off.

They can still buy a cup of Starbucks Coffee, just not with Starbucks contributions.

If starving our elected officials out by cutting contributions doesn’t convince them to do their jobs better, send them to DG’s B&B for bootcamp.

It would go something like this:

“Good morning Congressmen, thank you for bussing out to Oregon together. I hope the shared trip from DC to OR was a chance to get to know each other better.

I’ve rented space at Cook Park for our training, but first we need to cover a few things before we get back on the bus. Please, upon leaving the Water Bureau building, place all weapons and cell phones in the barrel at the end of the driveway. You won’t need them in the forseeable future.

The next few days will be a test for you all, a test in what it means to be an American.

Those of you with medical problems will need to furnish your own band aids. Those of you with mobility problems will need to make new friends to help you. Those of you with vision problems will need to learn to trust those with vision.

You get the idea?

Whether you’re a career politician looking for the next stepping stone, or a first termer with no plans on a second, you’ve been elected for the same reason. In case you need reminding, the job of Senator and Representative is making America better through your participation.

Ladies and gentlemen, America is not better when you show the rest of the world you favor party over country. If you want to stand above the fray by insisting on principle, then you didn’t read the job description before the election.

Serving our great nation means more than booking seats on Sunday news shows and looking pretty on television.

It means more than thousand dollar suits and tanning booth appointments; more than low pumps and white hose under mid-calf dresses; more than trying to un-separate church and state.

If you want to get it done in the District you need to get down in the mud and roll around. The first person to squeal about the dirt is the one to make the first deal.

Whining gets it done, but you’re not finished. 

You can’t walk away because you feel engaging with those who oppose your views distasteful or undignified.

Drag those who want to leave back to the mud pit until they find a way to communicate. The act of leaving is too ambiguous for the rest of us to understand.

What we do understand is a certain distaste over China re-building America

We understand the indignity of trickle-down economics and tax cuts for people who invest the windfall in foreign economies while the American workforce flounders.  

By urging his fellow CEO’s to keep their wallets closed, Howard Schultz is doing his part for his country.

Everyone understands what it means to lose money, to share the burden.

The buck, the Starbucks, stops with him.

Again, thank you Howard Schultz.


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