Ten Inventions From Ancient China To Reconsider

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August 23, 2011 by David Gillaspie

Inspired by http://socyberty.com/history/10-best-inventions-of-the-ancient-chinese/

Terracotta Army 8000 Strong

1.  Since the Chinese invented paper money, did they also invent the vault to hold $1 trillion U.S. dollars in foreign debt? If Chinese paper money is so important, who holds the most Chinese debt?

2.  The invention of row crops meant nothing Johnny Appleseed. This was a man who could have used some Confucius while flinging apple seeds into the wind: “He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.”

The only row Johnny sowed was his footsteps.

3.  Deep drilling for gas or oil? If the science took hold over the centuries, how did BP get away with the Gulf oil spill? Have BP execs brushed up on ancient Chinese drilling techniques?

4.  Fireworks in China? If they don’t include piccolo pete powder, a large plastic bottle wrapped in duct tape, and melted asphalt, where’s the excitement?

It’s not exciting to touch off any fireworks near your home mechanical gear.

5.  Gun powder is essential to firing guns, but if it’s not a shotgun, specifically an AA-12, what’s the point?

6.  Inventing the flame thrower might be technological advancement for everyone, just don’t ask the Japanese army from WWII for an endorsement.

7.  The Chinese invented the parachute? Since the airplane was a few centuries away, even with DaVinci’s help, did they also make the first laws against base jumping?

What color was the first parachute? Unless the testing was thorough, I’m guessing it was red after the splatter.

8.  If the rudder was such an important invention for steering boats, why not extend the metaphor. If Chinese society had had a stronger rudder in 1934, and Mao a weaker one, the Red Army might have run out of energy before hitting 6000 miles.

Since then China has walked a narrow path getting wider each day.

9.  The wheelbarrow is the opposite of the rickshaw, and much older. Japan may get credit for the rickshaw, but turn around between the handles of a wheelbarrow with your lady in the barrow, and you’ve got a rickshaw for a heavy load.

During the Korean War Chinese soldiers with rifles led human wave attacks. Those running behind picked up rifles from the dead. Was it the same for the worker on the Great Wall of China?

“Here, you start with the wheelbarrow. When you die, the next man gets it.”

“Thank you for this great honor, but I have a blister on my finger and cannot accept your generosity. I regret that I must let another man the wheelbarrow first.”  

10.  The compass comes from China? Since they’ve been a world leader over the last five hundred years, it’s no surprise they knew where they were headed before anyone else.

You might ask which is more important, the compass or radar, but that’s another day.

Time for a walk? President Nixon says, “Oh hell yeah.”

There are more Chinese inventions than you expect.