History For 2.5 Million, Alex

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July 18, 2011 by David Gillaspie

INSPIRED BY THE STATE OF OREGON

Inside the Jeopardy studios, Alex Trebec welcomes one contestant.

Alex: Welcome to Jeopardy. Let’s get started.

Golden Pioneer: Hello Alex. I’ll take Portland for a thousand.

Alex: Easy now, we’re limited at first to $500.

Goldie: Let’s cut to the chase, Alex. Portland for $1000.

Alex: Fine. The answer is, “The Oregon Historical Society.

Goldie: What is the most important museum in the city?

Alex: Yes. Based on the recent funding, OHS is the leader. Let’s go again.

Goldie: Oregon Social Impact for a thousand, please Alex.

Alex: Going big, eh? And the answer is, The Oregon Historical Society. 

Goldie: Which museum has the potential for greatest change in Oregon?

Alex: Yes, OHS. With all the neighborhood problems in Portland, they can all meet at OHS since it is free admission to Multnomah County Residents.

Goldie: I’d like…

Alex: Let’s take a breather big fella and put the ax down for just a moment. Tell us about yourself.

Goldie: Well, Alex, I’m an iconic figure living in Salem, Oregon. I represent those who arrived in early Oregon as well as those who continue to move here.

Alex: Those are awfully big boots to fill.

Goldie: I have a large footprint, so yes, I wear large boots.

Alex: Okay, then. What do you do?

Goldie: I’m a statue, Alex.

Alex: Do you have statue friends?

Goldie: I’m currently dating Portlandia.

Alex: I’ll bet the sparks fly when you’re together.

Goldie: You could say that. We’re a striking couple. I have the Statue of Liberty on speed dial.

Alex: Makes sense to me. Hammered copper and gold look good together. What else have you got?

Goldie: Just this, Alex: Oregon is squeezed between the Golden State and the Evergreen State with borders on the Pacific Ocean and the Gem State. We’re the Beaver State. We need all the good news we can get. The Oregon Historical Society tries hard to get it done.

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