You know this person? You might be this person? There is help.
“I went to Safeway and saw three dollar a head lettuce, not even organic, so I tweeted from my phone because you know, like three dollars for a head of romaine means you have to eat the outer leaves, the ones everyone has touched, and my followers need to know.”
No, they don’t.
“Anyway, whatever, try and make a Caesar with iceberg and see how that turns out. or spinach, so while I was in the store I filled my cart with ingredients for nasty salads and took pictures and posted them to Facebook. I got the idea from a page called What The F-ck Should I Make For Dinner. My friends and I love goofing on food. We try and guess what might go best with a funky menu.”
More than the menu is funky.
“Linkedin really is the most challenging social media. Everyone is smart and expects you to be smart right back. You can ask any question and get an answer. You always get more than you asked for in the deal, which is a bonus.”
Smart always draws more attention, or should.
“The most frightening is youtube. It’s warts and all. You can’t hide. If you’re not camera ready, you’d better get there quick before the red light comes on. Did you know you can make your own channel, just like CNN? Who ever thought? And you’ll never be dropped for being too lumpy, or gray, or confused, and you can say “And that’s the way it is” like Walter Cronkite, or “We’ll be here tomorrow, see you then” or, “Don’t ask me any questions about what I just said, I’m just selling soap.”
And you don’t even have to sell soap to stay on the air.
“What really hurts, and hurts down deep, is getting dropped on twitter or unfriended on Facebook. I mean, the nerve. Who has the right? If I want a slap in the face I’ll go look in the mirror, but when virtual strangers don’t think enough of you to give you a little time when they don’t even know you is more than rude, it’s a disgrace no one deserves. It’s not like I haven’t mastered the form. One hundred and forty characters? No prob. Informative posts? Always. Cute? C’mon. Smart? If others are jealous, what are you supposed to do. I’m not begging. Rejection isn’t the point. We live in a ‘thank-you’ world, a ‘sharing’ world, and some just don’t get it.”
Maybe that’s why you get dropped and unfriended? They do get it.
“Tennessee Williams wrote ‘I depend on the kindness of strangers’ and when he died a stranger wrote that he was seedy and portly and choked on a bottle cap while he was in a drugged haze. That’s not kind and I’d never say that no matter if it were true. There’s enough smelly fat people choking on bottle caps that you don’t need to point it out. That’s just sensationalism.”
You’d say it if it gave you more hits on your blog.
“No one mentioned my blog. Did you hear someone say blog? That’s my haven where I let my heart do the talking, where my soul reaches out. It’s more than a blog, anyway, it’s a conduit of love, a clear stream of caring, and that’s more than a lot of people can handle.”