7 Cultural Man Gym Rules

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February 17, 2011 by David Gillaspie

Is It Cultural Or Something More

THE RULES

1.  Get to the gym and workout the best you can within your cultural and religious rituals.

2. Leave sweaty, or, Shower, dress, and leave, or,

3. Sauna, steam, jacuzzi, shower, dress and leave.

Anything other than the above is out of line.  Anything below is prohibited, as in ‘You ought to know better.’

4. You are not allowed to dress from the shoes up.  If you are naked with shoes on, you need to review the dress sequence.

5. Dress sequence: Undies, pants, shirt, socks and shoes and leave.  Do not sit down while getting dressed.

6. A crotch-flosser poses with his foot on different benches.  He works the room.  You don’t want to sit on that.

6a. You may not lift your foot to a bench and floss your crotch with a towel like a downtown shoe-shine.  If you  do, you’re done already.

7. Use the hand blow-dryer to dry hands.  It is not a hair dryer, a foot dryer, a butt dryer, a leg dryer, a swimsuit dryer, a shoe dryer, or sock dryer.

Just because there’s something blowing hot air in a dressing room doesn’t mean moving your entire personal hygiene routine into public view.  Your wife doesn’t want to see it, neither does anyone else.

It seems there are no hot air blowers in Korea; they are rare in the Middle East.  Fellas, word to the wise, maybe the hand dryer has uses beyond my imagination, but don’t try and bring any food to dry. 

I’m drawing a line.

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