February 4, 2011 by David Gillaspie
On Searching And Not Finding
The first thing to do if you’re looking for someone, and you’re not a hardboiled detective?
Facebook, google, or the other way around. Or…
Have a pal in a DMV office who doesn’t want to check a name, but does it anyway. Then…
Email the hell out of everyone you can find.
If it’s not a money problem, something will pop up. Good will is supposed to work like that.
If you don’t go back far enough, you need to ask yourself why you bothered to start.
Building a webpage with the person’s name is a good idea, like johndoe.com, which is the name of a graphic design firm. Be more specific with findjohndoe.com, which is also taken, this time by a missing person service.
Findingjohndoe.com is still out there, along with johndoemissing.com. The right tools will find something.
The hard part is accepting what you find as good enough. It never is. You don’t want the surprise of finding your pal’s name on the wall anymore than you want to find it on the second wall.
You hope to find a cheery guy with more spark than a backyard Fourth of July; a guy who seems smarter than anyone you know; someone living in an environment of love and caring you wish for the whole world.
Instead of bitterness, you hope for enthusiasm.
Instead of disillusionment, you hope to find optimism.
Is it asking too much to find the same happy person you remember from forty years back? If so, maybe they weren’t that happy back then, you just remember the good times together. That’s how memory works.
If you define your quest and take the steps to finish, at least you’ll be happy. Accepting what you find is another story.
Most important, it’s not a bad memory…yet.