January 9, 2011 by David Gillaspie
Directions To All For One, One For O
When events in your relationship start moving things sideways, it’s time to grab the steering wheel.
Maybe it’s counseling. Maybe it’s couple’s counseling. Maybe one, or both, need to stop talking and listen.
Or maybe you need to find a new direction.
Start now. Start believing you can find a better way, and you will. Believe in something bigger than you.
Today you can believe in the Oregon Ducks. The Ducks will save your marriage, or at least make it better.
Borrow or buy a chisel point green Sharpie.
Hand it to your wife or girlfriend and ask her to draw a green O around your navel. Use the O above for reference.
Ask her to make the lines even with the sides thicker than the top and bottom.
Admit it’s silly and juvenile and promise you won’t walk around in a half-shirt.
Start with an outline, a small o inside a larger O, and fill in the space.
Don’t offer to shave your caterpillar if you’ve got one. Keep it simple.
If it’s a big O, it’ll take a while to do. Use this time to explain why you care about your significant other. Tell her why she’s significant.
Chances are she’ll get tired of standing and want to sit in a chair in front of you. If she’s got an ounce of artist in her, she’ll want to do the O with precision.
While she’s working the O, tell her how much you care about her. Tell her things you’ve done together in the past and how much they mean to you. Share your memories.
While things progress on the O, tell her how you see your differences as a couple, and solutions you’ve thought of.
Remind her how much you love her and want her to be happy. Promise you’ll do everything you can to make her happy.
This is key: giving of yourself makes a difference in those close to you. Taking some of the weight off the other person is a way of giving. Not everyone’s had the idyllic upbringing you’ve had, and when you hear a shrill screeching voice that drives you insane, know you are not the cause.
You may never know why a loved one shrieks like a banshee, just know it’s not you’re fault. Anyone with those skills has had to practice. Most likely they’ve had the same voice used on them.
It’s not you.
You are the one who makes a difference, who understands communication and emotional baggage, and works with both of them.
Just don’t mention this while the O is getting applied.
When you’re finished, and your O is in place, offer to return the favor. Tell her it’s a bond, the O bond, that you’ll share in years to come.
If the drawing takes time, it’s okay. If she calls the whole thing silly, it’s okay. Most important, if she questions your sincerity, tell you meant every word, but the Sharpie fumes might have taken you further than you wanted to go.
In the end, it’s a win-win for both of you, and you can settle in together and watch the Oregon Ducks pound the Auburn Tigers January 10, 2011.
It’ll be your special day.