Do It Right

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December 8, 2010 by David Gillaspie


Is it odd that the moment a fight starts in most sports, the game stops?

Then you get to watch magnificent athletes, highly trained and highly paid, flop around and flail at each other like farmers harvesting wheat in the days before machinery. 

Not pretty.

You’re left thinking, ‘If you’re gonna fight, then do it right.’  Which doesn’t mean cripple one another.

It does mean learn to wrestle before you charge the mound, or rip a helmet off, or sucker punch an opponent in a tank top.

Here are a few examples:

1.  MLB Heads For Home

How did this turn out?  Two guys parallel in the dirt brace for what’s next.  Chances are, neither has a clue of what’s next.

Even the most elementary wrestler knows to avoid a parallel position.  If you want to get rolled, stay parallel.

If you want to avoid a knee in the crotch, or a fist sneaking around the blind side, the top guy drops his left hip while keeping pressure down, and sits-out toward the bottom guy’s head.  No need to hurt your hand on his face, just sit-out.  He’s already got an underhook with his left arm. 

Sit-out and lock him up.

Then wait for the umpire to call the fall and score the run.

2.  NBA Face-Off

Rondo has it figured out, but the ball is in the way.

He sweeps the ball out of the way, rolls chest down toward the head and snakes his left arm around Noah’s long neck with a half. 

When Jo-Kim starts frog-kicking, Rondo reaches back with his right arm and hooks a knee, locks the cradle, and waits for the ref to call the fall.

Notice how everyone on the front row waits for it to happen?  They wish they were watching a wrestling match instead of this mis-match where Noah doesn’t have a chance on the ground.

Memo to Bulls: stay on your feet if you can’t handle the mat.

3.  NFL Defense

This one is just sad.  Wouldn’t you expect football players to know more about wrestling, if not fighting?

You can see potential for a front headlock, or an arm drag.  Instead, these two take out-of-position swings and look silly.  If a guy is headed down, help him get there faster. 

The last thing you want to see on a football field is a Wild West fight where one guy stands another up before knocking him down.

The D-Back has a shot to take, but doesn’t take it.  If he knows how to tackle, he ought to see the shot to the outside leg.

Ray Lewis would see the shot, and take it.

Football players have helmets to protect their heads.  Wear them.

Baseball catchers have face masks to protect their grill.  Wear it.

Basketball, the other winter sport, competes without the head-gear, so you have to give them credit for that.  However, they don’t get credit for Carmelo’s sucker punching, Rudy’s getting sucker punched, or Maurice’s punch on Chocolate Thunder. 

The next time you see a ball player who’s had his name in the paper, ask him if knows how to wrestle.  If he says no, explain the basics.

 No one wants to see a local sports star stumbling around pretending to fight.  Show your classmates the benefit of shifting a guy into neutral, and the fun of holding them there.  That’s a lesson they’ll take to the next level. 

The rest of the world doesn’t need to see our high dollar athletes hurt themselves with misguided aggression.

You can help by explaining the moment their game stops is the same moment your match begins.  Then, if they make it the big-time, they’ll at least know how to handle an out-of-control opponent.


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