October 28, 2010 by David Gillaspie
Be The First
0. Rob Your Friends.
Do this and everyone will know your name, just like Bernie Madoff. This is the man who went Robin Hood through international banks, universities, and moguls. Maybe taking French, British, and Dutch banks to the cleaners won’t impress you, but the guy did a Swiss bank.
That’s got to be a huge challenge.
Mr. Madoff sat on the board of Yeshiva University and probably did good things before he did bad things. Does the school offer a sequence of classes to better understand what happened?
With an eye toward the big picture, Mr. Madoff worked Hollywood biggies Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg along with their financial advisor, Gerald Breslauer. Who do you suppose will line up when the script for the Bernie Madoff Story comes out?
1. Invent facebook.
You all know Mark Zuckerberg is legendary for his invention. If not, go see The Social Network where Jesse Eisenberg plays the legendary Zuckerberg. And if that’s not enough, visit IMDb.com’s The Social Network page and click on Eisenberg where you’ll find a forum poster asking if “Any Other Guy’s Here Think Jesse’s Hot.”
It must be tough being a movie star. Where’s the forum asking if any guys think Mark Zuckerberg is hot? Depends on what your definition of hot is. He’s hot in Pakistan, Syria, The People’s Republic of China, Vietnam, Iran, Uzbekistan, and North Korea where, according to wiki, facebook has been “blocked intermittently.”
2. Invent Microsoft.
Bill Gates wrote the code in his high school for class registration while he was a student. In a strange twist, the code placed him in classes with mostly female students, says wiki.
The man was a player from the beginning.
Did he invent Microsoft to get chicks? Did Mark Zuckerberg invent facebook to get chicks? Who knew Harvard girls were so picky.
How many times does this happen at a mixer:
“Hello, would you like to go out Saturday night?” the young mogul-in-training asks.
“Only if you plan on building a multi-billion dollar computer program.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven then.”
The movie of Bill Gates and Microsoft will be made as soon as film techs figure a way to create a CGI of Gilligan to star.
James Cameron waits for that call.
3. Have a grudge with the inventor of facebook.
Would you know who Eduardo Saverin is if he didn’t lose 34% of facebook? He ended up with 5% valued at $1.3 billion. Is it worth holding a grudge? Really? So what if he can’t buy Brazil, he still has a Harvard Econ degree.
Considering the drop from 34% to 5%, you have to wonder what sort of economics they teach at Harvard. Luckily for world computer software, Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard before he learned how to lose that much money.
4. Have a grudge with the inventor of Microsoft.
Bill Gates: one wife, three kids.
Larry Ellison: four wives, two kids, America’s Cup sailer, jet pilot, hot car driver, and Steve Jobs’ pal.
Why would he hold a grudge? He’s done everything else.
5. Make An Electric Car.
Elon Musk stands out with his Tesla Roadster, an electric sports car. With a name like Elon he probably stood out in his grade school nurse’s station after recess with bullies. Why name a kid Elon? Did his parents listen to Johnny Cash sing A Boy Named Sue too often during the mom’s pregnancy?
Maybe an unusual name really does toughen a kid up.
That’s a tough act for anyone to follow.
6. Do Unbelievable Things.
This is where you come in. Take off your shoes off in the house; pick up after yourself; take the garbage out without being asked.
If you sell insurance for a living, say you sell insurance. Don’t say you sell money, or you make dreams come true, or you enable the future.
If you are a corporate hatchet man, don’t say you’re a Streamlining Consultant, or a Productivity Guru. Deadwood knows they’re dead; they’re just waiting to fall over. Call yourself a Wind System Analyst and blow as hard as you can.
7. Make People Happy.
Is it hard to do? Look at the number of miserable people in the daily news and find your answer. If you’re not one of them, count your blessings. If you’re not miserable, help other’s join you.
Do you want to stand out in a crowd? Then start with #7.