Rush To Care

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October 16, 2009 by David Gillaspie



The St. Louis Rams are down.  How far?  So far down that they need a caregiver, someone to give them a boost, a pat on the fanny when things go right, a hug when they don’t. 

That’s all Rush Limbaugh wanted to do.

How do you know when you need a caregiver?  When someone moves from their regular home or apartment to an assisted living facility, it means they need a little help getting around on their own.  Maybe a lot of help.  Any mention of the Rams moving back to Los Angeles tells you the sort of shape they are in.  They need a caregiver.

Owners moving teams from town to town shouldn’t be a surprise anymore.  If they could out-source their labor costs, they would, but it’s football and no one else plays it right.  We don’t need to see more confused Russian shot putters on the D line.

Do owners hijack their own teams to other cities, or do cities make them an offer they can’t refuse?  Either way, it has turned into Super Bowl Championships:

Kansas City gets the Dallas Texans and the Trophy.

St. Louis gets the Los Angeles Rams and a Lombardi.

Baltimore gets the Cleveland Browns and a ring.

Indianapolis gets the Baltimore Colts and a world championship.

Yet, it doesn’t always work out.

It didn’t work out that way when Tennessee got the Houston Oilers, or when LA got the Oakland Raiders then returned the favor, but both teams got to a Superbowl.  It’s not the same thing as Kurt Warner taking the Arizona Cardinals to the big game after they moved from St. Louis.  Teams change locations just like players, but it’s odd that Warner is still a force.  Who does he think he is, Brett Favre?

The Rams need a caregiver.  They needed Rush.  No one thought he’d be the second coming of Al Davis.  Rush in a silver and black jumpsuit?  Those aren’t even Ram colors.  And don’t mention the hair.  Rush wasn’t about to grease the sides and slap Kiwi Black Boot Polish on his dome and show up on television looking like Danny Zuko from Grease.  The man has more class than that.

The Rams need a caregiver and Rush stepped up, but would he be a good caregiver?  He’d have to move to St. Louis to monitor his new ‘loved one.’  He would be actively involved in the caregiver duties of toileting, dressing, and feeding, stuff he couldn’t do long distance.

Rush would help the team eliminate correctly (see Kurt Warner above.)  He would help dress the Rams in the throwback uniforms of Deacon Jones and The Fearsome Foursome.  Would Rush nourish the Rams?  Absolutely.  Given the chance, he would feed them physically, financially, and spiritually.  That’s what he does. 

That’s The Foundation of Caregiving.

The NFL whiffed on Rush, but that doesn’t mean every team or sport whiffs by association.  Why not pick a new sport?  Why not pick amateur wrestling, high school and college.  There’s no better choice.

Wrestlers train with demented intensity, which is right in Rush’s kitchen. 

They compete with grit and gristle, qualities Rush identifies with.

Wrestlers live lean and mean, again right in step with Rush’s train of thought.

Most important, wrestlers and former wrestlers have long memories of pain and suffering, both given and taken.  By picking a local Florida team, district, or conference; by caregiving for the entire Florida wrestling community, Rush would serve a worthy constituency.  Florida would become the new Iowa, the new Oklahoma, the new Pennsylvania. 

Cael Sanderson, Come On Down.

By associating with wrestling and wrestlers Rush would add new definitions to the words he uses, like commitment and focus.  Rush needs wrestling, but he needs encouragement.  Send him a few numbers to call if he has questions about the sport.  He needs to talk to Ray Lewis, Warren Sapp, Eric Rhett, all Florida high school champions who went on to the NFL.

With Wrestling, Rush Would Still Connect With Football:

“I draft wrestlers because they are tough, I have never had a problem with a wrestler.” – Joe Gibbs, Hall of fame Football Coach

“I would have all of my Offensive Lineman wrestle if I could.”- John Madden, Hall of Fame Football Coach

“I love wrestlers, they are tough and they make great football players.” Mike Stoops, National Championship Football Coach – University of Oklahoma.

“Wrestlers make coaching football easy, they have balance, coordination, and as a coaching staff we know they’re tough.” – Tom Osborne – College Hall of Fame Football Coach – University of Nebraska.

Do it, Rush.  Just Do It.

Politics Foils

Score Two For The Sunshine State Wrestling.


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